Self-Exploration & Masturbation Part I

Effects of Trauma

When we have experienced toxic or abusive relationships, one of the ways we cope or deal with it is by going into survival mode. This survival mode looks different for everyone, but some ways of surviving look like emotionally cutting off from overwhelming feelings/thoughts and disconnecting from our physical surroundings as well as our own bodies.

Not only do we disconnect from our physical selves because of what we’ve been through, but we also have a large part of mainstream society tell us not to be sexual anymore. That we made a mistake once, so be careful not to do it again. Intimate partner violence survivors are not taught or encouraged to learn how to re-love themselves and their sexuality.

Your sexuality should be celebrated, not shamed.

That doesn’t fly here at Resilient Rebound. So, let’s get re-acquainted with our badass selves in a safe and empowering way: through self-exploration & masturbation.

Masturbation 101

While we could probably write 20 blog posts on masturbation, we want to explore it just enough to encourage you to learn about yourself and what comfortable and hopefully pleasurable masturbation looks like for you – if you choose to do so. Consider this your overview.

First and foremost, let's properly define where this awesome activity takes place. When a woman masturbates, she is exploring and engaging her Vulva, her external genitalia. The Vulva is often mislabeled as the Vagina, which is actually the name for the reproductive canal. Within the Vulva, resides the sensation powerhouse, known as the Clitoris. The Clitoris has one and only one job: to feel. That's right. The entire purpose of the Clitoris is to sense, and experience, sensations. Did we mention the Clitoris reaches all the way down to your vaginal opening? Pretty amazing. Goddess-like if you ask us.

Now, the entire point of masturbation is to feel good. Once again, for the misconceptions/misinformation spreaders in the back: the entire point of masturbating, is for YOU to feel pleasure. It is a common misconception that the goal of masturbating is an

orgasm. That's just silly! Because we would be assuming that every woman is able to have an orgasm, or that an orgasm looks and feels a certain way for everyone, and that's simply not the case. If an orgasm happens, that's awesome for you! But it's not a requirement to engage in this funtastic activity.

If reading any of this information felt overwhelming, jarring, or anxiety-provoking – that’s okay. Listen to your body. Do what you need to do to reset (deep breaths, grounding, talking to a supportive person in your life). This is all about exploring AND honoring where you are.

Check-in next week for ways to begin exploring yourself at your own pace and comfort level.

Resilient Rebound is for educational purposes only. It does not claim to offer a course of psychotherapy nor does it serve as a substitute for it. 

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